Children

Question: children ????????? i just saw an article that stated an arkansas couple just had their 17 th child. In todays market how can anyone afford more than 2 -3 children?

Answer: I certainly don't understand it either. And it's not just the financial impact - how do the parents devote any significant amount of meaningful time and attention to the children individually? If this is the family I've read about before (Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar), I remember them mentioning that a lot of the parenting responsibilities fall on the older children. That's just sad. What a travesty to force upon those children in the name of something like 'we'll welcome more children as long as God blesses us with them'. Nuts.

Question: CHILDREN???????????????????? Do you ever baby sit ? If so what are some methods to get them to listen to you ?Are there any quit games they can play to get out of my hair? their age limit is 7-10. So what do I do?

Answer: Kids in that age group LOVE to be helpers!! Here are some of my tricks of the trade: 1) don't be mean they will rebel so make it "us against them" with the kids and they'll eat it up. 2) talk to them like people and they'll adore you....ask them about school, their friends, their teachers, their dog, whatever. 3) Get them distracted doing something QUIET and productive...okay, guys, how about we surprise your mom by having your rooms all clean, or bet you guys don't know how to play black jack! (and PS 7-10 is a PERFECT age for black jack, they can play with only 2 kids or with a ton of kids and they'll be entertained all night)

Question: What is the legal child to adult ratio for a church children's ministry? We supervise children from the ages of 5-12 on Sunday mornings. Usually we have 15-25 children with 2-4 adult workers. In a few weeks we are hosting a conference and are planning on that number being at least doubled. I wanted to find out if there is a legal child to adult ratio for churches who care for children, or if that ratio only applies to daycare centers. I want to make sure we have all our bases covered legally and for the safety of the children. Thanks! We are in Pierce County, Washington State.

Answer: The answer to this is going to depend a whole lot on the state/county/city you're in. Where are you?

Question: How has having lots of children improved your life and marriage and the lives of your children? Specifically, if you have more than 3 children, how do you think a large family helps the parents AND children? Did you have lots of children for spiritual reasons? Did you adopt? Do you notice more maturity, selflessness, caring and obedience in your children than other families with only one or two children?

Answer: I'm 35yrs with 4 children (all my own). I have three boys, ages 9, 7 and 3 and a baby girl who was born in Aug 2007. My husband and I planned on having 2, MAYBE 3 kids at the most, but deep down I wanted a big family. I'm one of three and have step siblings as well and really enjoyed that large family atmosphere. I don't know how I did it, but I talked my husband into having 4 kids. I believe my children are the way there are because of my and my husband's parenting methods, not because there are 4 of them. I've seen only children behave better than mine and only children behave worse. I honestly don't think that has much of an impact on a child's behavior. It's how the parents react and teach that does. Whether we had 1 child or 7 children, we would still treat and raise them the same way we do now. I think the only thing that is different about them compared to smaller families because of the number of children in our family is giving support. Whether it's a soccer game, piano recital, school play etc, ALL OF US go to cheer that one on. They all have their chance to shine in front of the family. Best Wishes =]

Question: How to Control emotions in Children or how to build emtional intelligence in children? How to Control emotions in Children or how to build emtional intelligence in children. Let's say children play computer/video games watch TVa lot, when we say no, they cries, they feel emotional.How to develop emotional intelligence in children.Can any one share.Thanks

Answer: We have to remember that when we try to keep children away from TV, Video Games, or computer games etc, we are in direct competition with those big people who have created & marketed those games. They are very intelligent, and know how to make money, so they are far more superior than us in attracting children towards those games than us, when we try to discourage children! The only advantage we have,( it is indeed a very big , significant advantage), is that the children are very much within our reach, and we love our children UNCONDITIONALLY. So, we have to maintain awareness of this advantage, and patiently explain the disadvantages of spending too much time on these games, using the stories of real life heroes, who perform well in life. Also invite some children of same age who are better convinced about spending time more usefully, to share their opinion . We have to participate in the thought process of children to convince them effectively , in such a way that they would need no control or even supervision, to keep away from temptation to spend too much time on these games.

Question: Do children behave better when their homes are neat and clean? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, since we asked my MIL for advice about helping our 2 year old sleep. She said something to the effect of "Make sure your house is clean, make sure (your child) is clean..." So, what do you think? Do children (small children specifically) behave better, act happier, and sleep better when their homes are neat and clean? What degree of cleanliness or messiness would make the difference?

Answer: i agree that parenting has everything to do with better behaved children. Your MIL may be referring to Qi and Feng-Shui (without realizing) That when things are in order, the energy or Qi should flow unobstructed and there is little or no displaced (misplaced) or blocked energy flow. I once had a sleepless night and I'm sure it was the energy from a big pile of unfolded clothes left in the middle of the room that night. A good parent is in control of her children even when she is not present.

Question: Do children who start in Montessori schools have a hard time adapting to public schools? Montessori schools usually go from preschool through elementary. Once the child transfers to a public middle school, do they have problems with the new environment, especially in light of the no-child-left-behind methodology which assumes all children should develop at the same rate within ridgid scholastic structures?

Answer: Whenever I hear this question I think about a scene in the movie Mean Girls. Kady, the movie’s protagonist has been homeschooled in Africa by her anthropologist parents. Her first “real” school is a public high school. At first she is shocked and confused by the rules of the school. As she says in a voice over,”Never before had I lived in a world where adults didn’t trust me. I got in trouble for the most random things.” Then she is seen getting up to sharpen her pencil or to go to the bathroom and teachers being dismayed with her. This is the kind of “transition” problem Montessori children have. They have been taught to be responsible and to think for themselves and now they are placed in a situation where they aren’t usually allowed to. Being a Montessori teacher in a traditional school, I can tell you that these are the things that teachers get upset with. My program only goes to 3rd grade, so I get to hear it from the 4th grade teachers everyday. I’m not going to lie to you, they complain. I think it is human nature to be skeptical of things that are different and to try and find fault with them. But over the years I’ve tried to push past the complaints and actually look at the “problems” that my students have when transitioning. First are the MANAGMENT problems. Asking permission for everything. Montessori students are used going to the bathroom when they need to go, they sharpen their pencils when they need to, they get up and get something that they need to complete their work with, they put on chapstick…. The only time I make them ask for permission is during a lesson or if they have been abusing the privilege, so a classroom where they have to ask permission, or just aren’t allowed to do such things during class time takes a little time to get use to. SOCIAL- Montessori students are used to working together and helping their peers. They are used to using conflict resolution skills to work through their problems, they are used to the teacher not only respecting their input and opinions, but encouraging them, and they are use to respecting other children’s needs and having their needs respected. This can cause a problem when children are now in a situation where they are constantly given ultimatums and they aren’t allowed to come up with solutions on their own. ACADEMIC- Montessori children are use to being able to move on to new material when they are ready for that information, not when the scripted program and district benchmark says that they should. They are also used to saying to the teacher, “I’m having a lot of problems understanding this concept, could you show it to me in another way?” Additionally, they are use to having a hand in their education. A common question is “May I study …. a write a report on it for science this week?” Obviously, in a classroom where the teacher follows a script and teaches only what they are scripted to teach, will take some time getting used to. So yes, there are adaptation problems. But you know what? Montessori children are unusually adaptable. They know how to work independently and in groups. They are problem solvers who can make choices and manage their time well. So in general, after an initial adjustment period, they can do adapt quite well. And, at least in my eyes, the skills that they have learned from being in Montessori classroom completely outweigh the problems that they encounter when they first make the transition to a traditional school.

Question: Does christian children fund try to convert the children and their families? I have been thinking of sponsering a child for a while. I am wondering if Christian Children's fund tries to covert. If so, what other sponsership programs are there that DO NOt try to convert, and are trustworthy and safe to donate through?

Answer: I have been a sponsor with CCF for 20 years and they DO NOT try and convert. Those who said that they do simply do not know what they are talking about. I would not give CCF money if they were evangelizing. CCF was originally formed by Christian missionaries in 1938 and that is where the name originates. However, they are now a private nonsectarian organization. Christian Children's Fund provides help to children regardless of race, religion, or gender. They respect the cultural heritage, personal pride and dignity of the families that they assist. Another great organization that allows you to sponsors kids is Save the Children, which works both in the U.S. and internationally - http://www.savethechildren.org/

Question: How should you list children of a second marriage in the obit of the deceased father? Father was passed and has four children from first marriage and 6 children that are by marriage only and not adopted. So should you list first his wife, then his children only and not his children by marriage?

Answer: My oldest daughter is from my first marriage. I am now remarried, and my second husband refers to her as his daughter also, because he FEELS like a father to her, even though he is only her "step-father". He never "adopted" her, as her biological dad is still around frequently - he even takes her to school every day. But that doesn't change the love my husband has for her too. We have 2 additional children of our own, and he treats them all the same. I would recommend saying he is "survived by his wife, and 10 children". I'm sure they would all appreciate being acknowledged as his children, as I'm sure they all loved him as a father - just as he loved them like his own children. I am sorry for your loss.

Question: How to adopt the children of my boyfriends? He has children from a previous marriage and the mother of these children has not been in the picture for many years and not paying child support ever. The children are 10 & 11. This is in Canada and we want to do the adoption ourselves without a lawyer. How do we do it? We do plan on getting married soon.

Answer: I'm not sure about Cananda, but here in the States, you will have to be married. Some places have a minimum time that you must be married, others do not. Contact a family law attornet in your area and see what the laws in your area are. Most likley it will be an easy process since she has not seen the children or paid child support in over a year.

Question: What do children bring into a relationship? My girlfriend has 2 children (7,9) from a previous relationship and suggests they have so much to offer. However i've never really been very interested in talking to children before and wonder what she means when she says they have lots to offer and are a privelige to know. They are nice children but and i would be happy to have fun with them but i don't understand what they could "offer" an adult. Any ideas?

Answer: The bottom line is that in this situation, (I know as I'm in exactlythe same one,) you will have to put up with a LOT, but it's actually worth it in the end. They will moan, cry, scream and say that they hate you, but once you've earned their trust they become more and more like your own kids, and that turns out to be the most rewarding feeling in the world. Stick with it mate, it'll be worth it in the end.

Question: How to deal with children following a misbehaving child at summer camp? I run a free summer camp in the inner city. There is one child, Devin, who is friends with 2 brothers. Devin is a trouble maker and attention starved, while the other two boys aren't perfect but agreeable. Very often the two brothers will follow Devin's lead and start making trouble along with him. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to effectively deal with misbehaving children and how to break up this trio? Is there any way to keep a misbehaving child's attention and calm him down? What is the best strategy?

Answer: It might help to know what the offense is, but the first couple of things that come to my mind would be to remove Devin from whatever you are doing at the time. Put him so he is off in a corner by himself, or even facing the opposite direction. I am not sure how old these kids are. The simplest thing to do is just that, remove him from the activity you are doing at the time. Set a timer for a pre-determined amount of time depending on the age of the child and the offense. Also, if there is something coming up such as centers or a guest coming in to the summer camp to do a magic show or something (obvious just an example) the students need to behave a certain way or they cannot attend. Having someone to help w/something like this is a good idea such as a partner teacher. That teacher can keep the naughty ones while you take the "good" ones type of a thing. You might also want to set up a reward type system. When the kids do something positive give them a sticker or something on a chart. If they do what they need to do during "center" time, they get a sticker, if they behave appropriately while in the hallway, they get a sticker, restroom breaks-same thing. If they reach a goal of a certain number at the end of the day, they can get a small prize. Anything works. Candy always is a great idea. Kids will pretty much do anything for a piece of candy or two. Also giving children responsibilities is a huge deal. That is something that usually helps calm their behavior down somewhat. They love any type of attention but it is ten times better if they get positive attention. So if he is doing what he needs to do give him a job around the room or wherever you are. Make it a big deal of what a great helper he is and how you love that he is helping you. Not sure what type of help you can get from parents, but if the parents are "involved" sometimes it can be helpful to tell them what is going on so they can take privileges away at home. In the inner city sometimes it is extremely hard getting parents involved in much at all, but sometimes you can get lucky and get a couple that like to be involved. Maybe Devin's parents and the "followers" have parents like that. If they do, you are lucky. Let them know and have them follow through with something at home. Hope this helps!!!!!! GOOOOOD LUCK

Question: How many children should a family plan to have so that the probability of having at least one child of each se? How many children should a family plan to have so that the probability of having at least one child of each sex is at least 0.95?

Answer: 1 - 0.5 ^(n-1) >=0.95 0.5^(n-1) >=0.05 ln 0.5^(n-1) >=ln 0.05 n-1 >= ln 0.05 / ln 0.5 n-1 >= 4.32 n> = 5.32 n=6 explaining no mather what sex the first child has the probability that secound child has the same sex is 0.5 and the probability that 2nd and 3th child have the same sex is 0.5^2 so the probability that all n childs have the same sex is 0.5^(n-1) to have at least one from other sex 1- 0.5^(n-1) and it must be greater or equal to 0.95 1- 0.5^(n-1) >=0.95

Question: What happens to children when a single parent is incarcerated? Do children automatically get placed into foster care? Does it depend on the family situation? Does the crime or the length of the sentence affect whether or not children are put up for adoption? What if a parent is released early or found innocent? Are the children returned to the parent?

Answer: Pretty complicated to answer ...But,The children usually go to the closest relative after DFACS investigates how stable the home is ...If not the children go into the state's custody.

Question: What is your opinion about comparing your child to other children? I have heard many parents who tell their kids that other children are performing better than they are and that they should live up to the expectations other children are setting. For example, a parent may continuously tell their eight year old that her friend excels in an area she herself may not do very well in as a ways to push them to try harder. Please tell me your opinion about this - is it a means to convince your child to do better, or does it prove to be more of a means of breaking the child's own self esteem?

Answer: what parent, at one point or another, has never compared their child with another? all parents do that. even subconsciously. thinking it and not saying it is the only decent way to do this. it's very wrong for a parent to pull Junior to one side and tell him that another child is performing better than him. i'm sure some parents think this is a motivational tool, but it's not. it does nothing for the self esteem of the child. telling your child that he's better than someone else is likewise wrong. this tact puts your child on a pedestal he may not be able to come down from well into adulthood. he will have a false sense of superiority and will be hated by most. the best way to motivate a child to perform at his best is to tell him that he CAN --with no reference to any other child. an 8-year old is already pressured into personally comparing himself with his peers in the classroom and in the playground. the last thing he needs is to be told this by his very own parent. what a parent can do is support the child and nurture his gifts by his own pace. children have different paces of learning and development anyway. comparing one and the other would be like comparing apples and oranges.

Question: How would a child feel when she is never allowed to socialize or have contact with any other children and is? How would a child feel when she is never allowed to socialize or have contact with any other children and is 24/7 with her father? She lives with her father and even says that she has a very good father. About once a weak she and her father go out in public to eat and shopping. She has TV, Radio, Internet and books at home.

Answer: Na.